It won't be all white on the night

Given that I'm pretty cack-handed when it comes to applying make-up, I adore skincare products -- if my skin looks great, I don't need to bother with anything else. The latest range to meet my approval? Liz Earle's products, particularly the Cleanse and Polish Hot Cloth cleanser. It smells yummy, works like a dream, comes beautifully packaged, and isn't hugely expensive, particularly compared to the Eve Lom range that it (allegedly) mimics. However. I do have one problem with it. It requires you to use a muslin cloth to remove the cream, and then suggests that this cloth should go into the dirty washing pile after just TWO uses! I'm not sure what most of the customers are using this cleanser to remove -- coal dust? Pancake foundation? -- but this is insane. I'd need to have 7 cloths just to get through a week and even that would rely on me doing a white wash every week, which simply isn't the case.

Why? Because I hate white clothing. For starters, white looks pretty dreadful against the pallid yet blotchy skin that I possess, and I don't tan. Ever. Next, white clothes only look good the first time you wear them. Even if you manage to avoid the inevitable tomato sauce incident, the first wash will transform crisp white clothing into grey limp rags, regardless of the washing instructions provided on the label. I discovered that this is because of all those lovely modern fibers that they now use to give your clothing stretchiness; if you wash anything vaguely elasticky at above 40 degrees, it will instantly turn grey. Bleach doesn't do much for them, either, and seems hideously toxic, to boot. On top of that, I am incapable of avoiding the inevitable tomato sauce incident. Every white t-shirt I've ever bought has acquired a Coca-Cola stain shortly after purchase; I am apparently incapable of drinking from a can without getting it all over me. I now change out of any light-colored clothing before eating, regardless of food color. Eating naked or swaddled in a giant towel would be the easiest way to go, but rather impractical with company and chilly during the winter.

As a result, I possess very little white clothing, which means it's usually 2 weeks between white washes, which means I'd need 14 muslin cloths -- and why do I keep typing "muslim"? -- and I don't have time to iron 14 muslin cloths every 2 weeks, and yes, I'd have to iron them! Aarggh! Too hot, must lie down!

Great product, though. Highly recommended.