To the man in the blue swimming trunks at the pool this morning

Sir, were you aware that getting into the pool -- without showering, tut tut! -- and swimming two lengths and then getting out and heading into the steam room for 20 minutes does not actually constitute particularly effective exercise? You were? OK, carry on then -- it's what everyone else does!

Actually, there are a number of men who hang out poolside between 8 and 8.30 in the morning without doing any, y'know, swimming. One guy spent 30 minutes sitting in the jacuzzi today, keeping an eye on the comings and goings. Another regular merely sits on the loungers near the pool. Several seem to spend a lot of time parading up and down beside the pool; it often feels more like the Promenade des Anglais in Nice rather than the local gym. All these things would seem fine if we were at a Caribbean resort or, indeed, the beach at Nice, but somewhat less appropriate at a private gym at 8.30 in the morning in Amsterdam. I'm starting to think that the pool is actually a cruising point, with the added convenience that people aren't wearing many clothes. Which is fine. If you like that kind of thing and are relatively discreet. But again -- 8.30 IN THE MORNING? I can barely open my eyes at that time, even when I'm in the pool!

As you were.