Waiting for UPC

On rereading my previous post, I think I was too kind to UPC. Yes, my designated customer service rep was lovely when I got to speak to her, but I would much rather have carried out my transaction online. Or at least been able to access my online account.

The 10-step login process went a little like this:

1. Go to www.upc.nl and enter client login details.
2. OK, user name -- probably ndumpling. It's been years since I logged in.
3. Nope, ndumpling is wrong. Try norfolk dumpling.
4. Wrong again. Hmm, how about Norfolk Dumpling.
5. Damn, I've been thrown out of the system. Because accessing your cable subscription details online is a lot like using an ATM and just as prone to fraud.
6. Go to "Forgotten your client details, muppet?"
7. Enter client number and surname. Ooh! I have this. It's on the online bills they send me once per quarter. Excitedly copy/paste in client number and surname.
8. Client number not recognized. WHAT!?!
9. Try tapping in client number carefully.
10. Still no joy. Give up and phone the call center.

It helped to pass the time. But, as Beckett would have it, the time would have passed anyway.