- 9 teeth extracted under general anaesthetic.
- 3 teeth extracted under local (which involved a needle as long as the dentist's arm being inserted into the roof of my mouth. Nasty.)
- 2 root canals. Because they thought they'd left a bit of equipment in after the first one.
- Double-track braces top and bottom for the sensitive 15-18 teenage period.
- At least 20 fillings. At least.
- 3 amalgam fillings replaced with white composite ones.
- 1 wisdom tooth extracted -- actually the least painful experience of all.
Every time I go to the dentist it is a painful and costly experience. If the dental hygienist starts haranguing me on March 27, I shall rise up out of the chair and declaim: "By God woman, thou shalt not lecture me! Modern management techniques suggest that the best way to get results is to offer praise and encouragement, not to berate your staff as if they were naughty 5-year-olds! Or to jab their gums with painful pointy bits of metal! Amend your attitude or I shall leave and never darken your doors again!" -- a threat I am in the perfect position to make, given that I never will darken her doors again. What with the leaving the country and all.
Alternatively, I might just take one of the kickass painkillers that was included in PJ's medical kit -- designed for the patient when performing emergency open-heart surgery in the jungles of Borneo -- and just try to get over the whole ghastly experience with the minimum of fuss. Which do you think is more likely?
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