Friday, December 15, 2006

Well, have you?

Have you ever stayed with friends for the night, had a lovely meal and a late, just-before-midnight cup of tea, used the bathroom, been to the loo, got into bed, switched out the light and realized that that last cup of tea has gone straight to your bladder and you need the loo again? Only the house is now silent and everyone will hear that you're going to the loo again and you start to worry that they will be wondering what on earth is wrong with you that you need the toilet twice in quick succession? And you start worrying about whether you do in fact have diabetes or a urinary tract infection, and the more you worry, the more you want the loo, so you're lying foetal-like in a vain attempt to repress that urgency, but the last thing you're going to do is fall asleep like that and after 10 minutes you decide to get up and just bloody go to the loo, and you're trying to be quiet but the doorknob squeaks, and you stub your toe on the bathroom door, and you manage to hit the switch that turns on both the light AND the extractor fan, so now you KNOW you've woken up everyone in the house and they're just lying in their room laughing at you, and so the following morning you decide to sneak out of the house and book into a hotel the next time you're in London?

No, me neither. It sounds like it would be terribly stressful.

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