Six degrees of separation

Over the Christmas period, it came to my attention that I am closely linked to two famous -- okay, one famous, one infamous -- people.

1. Edith Piaf. Yes, that Edith Piaf. While watching a BBC4 documentary on her, we noticed that she appeared on the stage with one Howard Vernon. Who he? Howard Vernon was a Swiss actor who appeared in a number of films by legendary Spanish schlock-horror director, Jesus Franco. Yes, yes, but how is he linked to the Dumpling? Well, not only does my brother know him, but I also translated a film script for him -- a remake of The Awful Dr Orloff, previously shot as Faceless, starring Howard Vernon as the eponymous Dr Orloff. Oh, how I remember that summer translating the script: 3 days locked in a tiny room, trying to figure out how to use my flatmate's boyfriend's crappy old PC, and using a dodgy dictionary to work out the meaning of "gemir".* Happy days -- which paid for my coach fare back to the UK (via Antwerp).

2. Tom Stephens. Who? Tom Stephens, suspect number 1 in the Suffolk Strangler affair, and acquaintance of the man who was charged with the murders. Tom Stephens was two years above me at school. I never met him or knew him -- if I had, I'd be writing something for The Daily Mirror, rather than wittering on this blog -- but probably shared a school bus back to the village where he and my best friend lived.

Actually, Tom Stephens isn't my only brush with the sordid criminal underworld. Reggie Kray died at the Town House Hotel in my parents' village -- a hotel to which I once delivered the Sunday papers. So there: Don't mess with the Dumpling or I'll nail your head to the floor.

* Gemir: to moan as if in the throes of sexual ecstasy -- and a verb that prompted my flatmate's boyfriend to ask just what kind of script I was translating.