Next thing you know, it's Russian paratroopers in Trafalgar Square

Another work trip (for PJ), another haul of free magazines from BMI's business class lounge. Let's see what we have: In Style (clothes porn), Smart life international (gadget porn), and Vanity Fair (Anderson Cooper porn?). Ah! Tatler! One of the most revolting magazines published -- class porn!

If you believe that nearly 10 years of a Labour government has undermined the class system in the UK or if you simply want to understand the (otherwise fairly low-key) ruling classes, just read Tatler. This is the upper class's in-house magazine, a record of their birthday parties, weddings, charity events, and most distinguished members. Old Etonian toffs who think rapping is something of a lark? Food and motoring columns by the Parker Bowles offspring? Models with titles? It's got them all. The sense of self-confidence and utter entitlement radiates off the page. You can tell that these people never worry about getting good grades at school or being able to afford somewhere to live -- they're destined to get jobs via friends of mummy and daddy or live of their trust friends in their (inherited, natch) flats in South Ken.

But boy, do they hate it when they're threatened. When I was at university (one of their traditional stamping grounds), I helped run a scheme to attract more state school pupils that garned some media attention. The reaction was startling and predictable. One newspaper columnist declared that it was rewarding the children of feckless spendthrifts who would rather go on holiday than spend money on privately educating their children. The president of my college told me he'd received worried phone calls from the headmasters of various private schools, anxious that they were being discriminated against. Never mind that it didn't occur to them that state school teachers don't have a hotline to Oxbridge tutors. Bugger meritocracy -- what if one of their little darlings didn't get the place that their birthright entailed!

I read Tatler to remind me of why I'm still a leftie and to help formulate my list of who'll be first up against the wall when the revolution comes.