Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The boys are back in town

Ah yes, the end of August/beginning of September signals the return to our street of the frat boys in the frat house on the corner. It's the time when new pledges arrive, taking part in all those fun little hazing rituals that are, apparently, a cornerstone of the Dutch university system. What will it be this year? Standing outside the house at 8 in the morning reading aloud out of a newspaper? Or perhaps running laps of the block in full frat-boy rig? As far as I can tell, becoming a member of a fraternity here involves very little: A willingness to wear the frat-boy uniform of pale blue shirt, navy blazer, and those appalling red chinos that Dutch men are so inexplicably fond of. In addition, they must grow their hair into the frat-boy cut -- a short, sharp crop at the back and a mop of heavy blond curls on top, greased down with lashings of cheap gel. (Seriously, a gathering of Dutch frat boys scarily resembles scenes from The Midwich Cuckoos.) And let's not forget an ability to heave a battered sofa up out of the stenchy beer cellar and across the street to the edge of the canal, so that 3 boys can sit and smoke on it while their house mates unconcernedly spread themselves across the road, a menace to pedestrians, drivers, and cyclists (i.e., me) alike. God knows what they're talking about: What jobs they're going to walk into, courtesy of their frat mates, when they (eventually) leave university? How to guarantee a large payoff from a company for being utterly crap in said job? How to badly park their enormous 50s American frat car so that it sticks out into the street, causing traffic jams? The possibilities are endless.

However, I should keep in mind what my mother always told me: If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all.

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But I can't stay silent!!! Their hair and trousers irritate me SO much!! I just want to KILL THEM ALL EVERY TIME I CYCLE PAST!!!! FIRST UP AGAINST THE WALL WHEN THE REVOLUION COMES!!!!!!

Phew. I feel better now. Time for bed.

2 comments:

Mondale said...

The Norfolk Liberation Army advocates 'Re-education centres' for such social miscreants. Our day will come.

Norfolk Dumpling said...

Sign me up to run one. Please.