Kaizen this, muthaf*****

A recent Observer article tried to understand why so many people keep diaries -- or blog, as it's known in the 21st century. The assorted luminaries responded with uplifting replies along the lines of "Remembering those I love" and "Recording my memories as a way of confirming that I'm alive and can still remember things" -- the usual bollocks. They failed to ask why I blog, but I will tell you. It's so that every petty irritation that life flings at me is matched by an equal, yet opposing twinge of glee: "That will make a great blog post!"

So in this spirit of blogging being my way of dealing with crap customer service, I give you this little gem. And no, Dutch readers (if there are any left), don't despair: This time I'm pissed off with the Japanese. A few months ago, I bought a winter coat from Muji, and very nice it was too. But then, the tape covering the zips started to peel away and get caught, and one of the press studs embedded itself in its "hole" and wouldn't come out. In the last few days, the zips on both pockets have given up the ghost, making it both non-waterproof and time to complain and ask for this to be fixed or for my money back. I head over to the UK Muji Web site, looking for their customer complaints department. This is what I found.

Muji has always encouraged strong communication with both its customers and employees. Through a process known as “Kaizen” or “Continuous Improvement” we welcome comments and suggestions about all aspects of our business. If you have any comments or suggestions please feel free to contact us.

OK, sounds good. Where's the list of ways to contact Muji. It turns out there's just one: snail mail. No email address, no phone number, and a list of FAQs that allow you to report a technical problem with the Web site but not with the goods they actually sell. WTF!?!? What global company that sells stuff online only has a postal address for any forms of contact? How can one possible continuously improve your service when you only get a tiny percentage of potential feedback because most people don't know how to write/post a letter anymore? I thought that dealing with a Japanese company would result in at least one ritual disembowelling for every complaint registered!

Hey, but at least it made a good blog post.