Sheffield Wednesday 3: Norwich 2

Thank goodness that's over. Sixteenth -- pretty much where we were all season. Let's hope the boys can rest, regroup, and come back slightly stronger next season. I'd settle for 12th.

Norwich 0: Southampton 1

Several people have asked if I will be switching allegiance from Norwich to Southampton now that I'm living in Winchester -- just 15 minutes by train from the Solent. I have always responded that one doesn't stop supporting the team of your birthplace just because one moves; I was never an Ajax supporter so would not support Saints. But on yesterday's performance, I might live to regret that decision. I can't wait for the season to be over.

Norwich 1: Ipswich 1

Well, we could have lost to the tractor boys. That would have been far worse.

Hull 1: Norwich 2

Another victory, another three points, another season in the "Championship". Looks like being 13th in the table isn't unlucky for the Canaries. Delia's boys should be able to enjoy their chocolate eggs over the weekend.

Norwich 1: Stoke 0

Hurrah! A good week for the Canaries, beating third-placed Birmingham midweek and then yesterday's 1-0 vidtory over a reduced strength Stoke. We're on 50 points, are 15th in the table, and should now feel safe from relegation. Next season, I might even get to see them play -- as long as Southampton don't have a spurt and qualify for the playoffs and then move out of reach. Hurrah!

Cardiff 1: Norwich 0

Damn. Damn damn. Damn damn damn and fraking damn. We have a goal difference of -10, we're 17th, and we had a crucial Huckerby goal ruled offside.

I can't wait for this season to be over.

Norwich 1: Derby 2

Damn. Our run of fine results (okay, two fine results) is broken, as Derby come from behind to take victory. Martin scored again -- it won't be long before he signs for a better team. We are now 17th in the table, 14 points ahead of bottom-placed Leeds. Two more victories should see us safe from relegation, but it is far too close for comfort. C'MON!

Luton 2: Norwich 3/Barnsley 1: Norwich 3

Two games. Six goals. Six points. Ker-as they say-ching! It's not like the boys are back in business -- we're still 16th, after all -- but it's six points closer to staying up. And it looks like we've got a very handy little player in Chris Martin. Certainly far more use than the irritating lead singer of the incredibly irritating Coldplay (and husband to the infuriating Gwyneth Paltrow). Let's just hope we can keep him, for another season at least.

Chelsea 4: Norwich 0

Damn. Damn damn damn.

Actually, the scoreline is a little harsh. We lost our goal keeper early on, thanks to Chelsea's dreadful pitch -- what, they can't afford groundskeepers at Stamford Bridge? -- not only stayed in the game, but were doing pretty well until Chelsea's first goal. A goal just after half time, followed by two late, injury-time strikes killed us off. Damn.

And now I owe Clive a tenner. Sigh. Back to concentrating on the league.

Norwich 3: Blackpool 2

Norwich's glorious last-minute FA Cup victory over Blackpool has earned the Canaries a match with Chelsea. Oh ... goody. Clive and I already have a tenner each riding on the outcome. Meanie that he is, he wouldn't agree to pay me 10 quid if Chelsea won, the only safe bet of this round. Pessimistic, moi?

Insert your own punchline

Emailing with Imogen yesterday about our plans to move to Winchester, she said that she liked it because it felt very "Norwich-y". I agreed, but was about to add that it lacked a decent football team -- and then stopped.

You can do the rest.

Norwich 2: Leeds 1

Yes! After a dismal run -- far too depressing to report here -- we're back in business (please permit me some hyperbole in my excitement)! And without Earnshaw, to boot. Mid-table obscurity will be ours!

Norwich 1: Plymouth 3

We were leading at half-time. At home. It's not that unreasonable to expect a win, is it?

FA Cup 3rd Round: Norwich 4: Tamworth 1

That's better and should cheer our boys up, even though Tamworth are hardly testing opponents: They're currently languishing at the bottom of the Nationwide Conference. However, if we don't pick up our form in the league, we could find ourselves competing with the likes of Tamworth in a couple of years time.

Crystal Palace 3: Norwich 1

Hardly the perfect start to 2007. Relegation -- unthinkable a few weeks ago -- beckons. No wonder Jo and Alan didn't answer the door when I called round earlier today; as a Crystal Palace fan, it would have been hard for Jo not to be graciously triumphant. Damn.

Norwich 1: QPR 0

Hurrah! Finally, a positive result -- and against QPR. This is what we needed after Boxing Day's dismal 0-0 draw with Southend, a bad-tempered match that failed to see Norwich score despite playing with an extra man for the final 35 minutes. I saw supporters walking down to Carrow Road on that day -- the weather was foul, the tickets will have cost about 20 quid each, and yet there will still thousands of fans there. When managers criticize their supporters, they would do well to remember the cost -- both financial and emotional -- of following a team. It's far cheaper, warmer, and (usually) more satisfying to go to the cinema (or stay in playing tennis on the Wii).

A whole heap o' chocolate

My food dilemmas for the next few days are at an end. As I handed over my (only slightly squidged) lemon cake to Alan and Jo, they gave me a kilo of Cadbury's! Four different 250 gram bars of chocolately goodness.



Not only that, but Alan then made scrambled eggs and smoked salmon to accompany Arsenal's 1-1 draw with Chelsea. Junior Gooner Holly spent the (somewhat dull) first half watching the game supine on her mat, little legs flailing in excitement. The second half perked up, with a very entertaining final 15 minutes, and then it was back out into the cold -- heading home to some very exciting ironing. Yay! Food, football, and friends: there's no better way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Norwich 1: Sheffield Wednesday 2

I am not, however, the Canaries' bitch. But I do feel like a glutton for punishment. every Saturday, I turn to the BBC sports site with a sense of misplaced optimism. Most weeks, I'm cruelly disappointed, yet keep going back for more. When will this end? (Probably when we get relegated to Division 1.)

Sunderland 1: Norwich 0

After a successful midweek trip to Leicester, Norwich slumped to defeat against Sunderland yesterday -- leaving The Canaries hovering at 15th in the Championship. That's one place above Crystal Palace (sorry, Jo) and, most importantly, two places above Ipswich. You see, it's not really about promotion or relegation or title shots or qualifying for Europe; it's purely about beating the Suffolk tractor boys.

Norwich 1: Hull 1

I skipped a week. Yes, dear reader, I simply couldn't face posting about Norwich's loss to [clench jaw] Ipswich. As bad luck would have it, a new colleague started in our London office the following day and he turned out to be a tractor boy. Boo hiss! Fat chance any of his work will ever get edited by me! (I kid!) So, yesterday's point against Hull was something of a relief, although we ought to have held on for the win. I'm not impressed at the manager: Blaming the fans, when it's his team that conceded a last-minute goal? It's not like they were firing crossbow bolts onto the pitch.

This afternoon, I watched the Manchester United: Chelsea match alongside Jo, Alan, and Holly. Not the most thrilling of encounters and the Dutch commentators' half-time analysis was noticeably lacking in anything that might resemble "spark", but a very pleasant couple of hours nonetheless. I think I'm just out of the habit of watching full-length matches, something to rectify in a few months' time.

Heigh-ho, another weekend over. Off to bed -- sleep well!