Cardiff 1: Norwich 0

Damn. Damn damn. Damn damn damn and fraking damn. We have a goal difference of -10, we're 17th, and we had a crucial Huckerby goal ruled offside.

I can't wait for this season to be over.

Norwich 1: Derby 2

Damn. Our run of fine results (okay, two fine results) is broken, as Derby come from behind to take victory. Martin scored again -- it won't be long before he signs for a better team. We are now 17th in the table, 14 points ahead of bottom-placed Leeds. Two more victories should see us safe from relegation, but it is far too close for comfort. C'MON!

Luton 2: Norwich 3/Barnsley 1: Norwich 3

Two games. Six goals. Six points. Ker-as they say-ching! It's not like the boys are back in business -- we're still 16th, after all -- but it's six points closer to staying up. And it looks like we've got a very handy little player in Chris Martin. Certainly far more use than the irritating lead singer of the incredibly irritating Coldplay (and husband to the infuriating Gwyneth Paltrow). Let's just hope we can keep him, for another season at least.

Insert your own punchline

Emailing with Imogen yesterday about our plans to move to Winchester, she said that she liked it because it felt very "Norwich-y". I agreed, but was about to add that it lacked a decent football team -- and then stopped.

You can do the rest.

Christmas 2006: No broadband

Slow trains; fog on the line (it's all mine, all mine!); fish n chips; alcohol; shop, shop, panic, shop; second-hand book shops; slippery wrapping paper; crap tape dispenser; grey cloud and drizzle; great food; more alcohol; Hamster; encounter with old school teacher; Sainsbury's on Pound Lane; panic shop, shop, shop; filthy shoes; curry!; alcohol; Santa's been; books; Sugababes CD; Bendicks chocolates; Rayman Raving Rabbids; Sex Pistols mug and chocolate eclairs; spiced apple juice; butternut squash loaf; still grey clouds; Racing Demon (I won!); alcohol; long walk in grey drizzle; Carrow Road; Rick Stein; Freaky Friday; salmon; yet more alcohol; heart-attack-inducing pudding; Newmarket; prediction whist; packing; Flybe; queues; passport control; queues; Wii; and home again.

Norwich 1: Sheffield Wednesday 2

I am not, however, the Canaries' bitch. But I do feel like a glutton for punishment. every Saturday, I turn to the BBC sports site with a sense of misplaced optimism. Most weeks, I'm cruelly disappointed, yet keep going back for more. When will this end? (Probably when we get relegated to Division 1.)

Norwich 1: Hull 1

I skipped a week. Yes, dear reader, I simply couldn't face posting about Norwich's loss to [clench jaw] Ipswich. As bad luck would have it, a new colleague started in our London office the following day and he turned out to be a tractor boy. Boo hiss! Fat chance any of his work will ever get edited by me! (I kid!) So, yesterday's point against Hull was something of a relief, although we ought to have held on for the win. I'm not impressed at the manager: Blaming the fans, when it's his team that conceded a last-minute goal? It's not like they were firing crossbow bolts onto the pitch.

This afternoon, I watched the Manchester United: Chelsea match alongside Jo, Alan, and Holly. Not the most thrilling of encounters and the Dutch commentators' half-time analysis was noticeably lacking in anything that might resemble "spark", but a very pleasant couple of hours nonetheless. I think I'm just out of the habit of watching full-length matches, something to rectify in a few months' time.

Heigh-ho, another weekend over. Off to bed -- sleep well!