"I think we need a bigger staircase"

We pause for breath, halfway up the stairs. At this point, it strikes me that we may have made a very big mistake in trying to get the lovely G-plan sideboard up into my study. It weighs a ton, is awkardly shaped, and PJ is in imminent danger of being crushed beneath it. I now deeply regret the fact that we haven't written our wills and that I don't have my mobile phone on me; if anything goes wrong, I will have to clamber over his squished remains to call for help.

One panic attack, two bruised ankles, and a destroyed curtain rail later, we get it into my room. It looks lovely, if also somewhat bruised. We will never move it -- ir us -- again.