Providing instructions on how to reach your destination: not the most challenging thing to do. I live in an awkward spot but have managed to provide clear, consistent directions to a whole host of friends, family, and delivery people. The Malmaison hotel chain, however, doesn't seem to be able to manage this. They can tell you which cities they're in; they can tell you what street they are on and the post code; but they can't tell you how to navigate the fiendish one-way systems in which most of their hotels are situated.
December 25, 2006: PJ and I are lost in Manchester. We're desperately trying to reach the Malmaison before the Doctor Who Xmas special starts, but are having no luck. We know that the hotel is only a few hundred yards away but the roads aren't accessible to traffic; we are thwarted at every turn. We even end up on the motorway to Birmingham at one point, and lost in a darkened car park at another. The hotel Web site suggests finding it is easy but that is not the case! Tears and recriminations ensue.
October 2008: PJ and I are lost in Reading. We aren't allowed down the street that takes us to the Malmaison, it being closed to non-public modes of transport. We drive around the Reading ring road for 20 minutes, looking for a car park.
Today: PJ and I are NOT lost in Oxford; I know perfectly well where we are but we can't see the hotel. The directions -- "Put our post code into your sat nav and it will show you the way!" -- aren't helpful if a) sat nav gives up about 200 yards from the hotel, b) the hotel entrance isn't marked, or c) if you don't have a sat nav. We drive round the Oxford one-way system, ignoring the signs that say "Closed to cars" and end up phoning the hotel while illegally parked on double yellows. It's also raining. Not a good start to our mini-break.
Once is unfortunate. Twice is suspicious. Three times is a bloody disgrace. MapQuest, Malmaison -- look into it!
PS: I know what you're thinking. And yes, we are perfectly capable of reading maps and following directions. So it's not OUR fault.
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1 comment:
we've had the same issue. Malmaison *does* exist in Oxford, but the sat nav don't get you there and its map is utterly illegible and pointless. There's practically no parking anyway.
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