Time flies when you're having fun

Or, when you're working in London for a few days. The city is a time (and money) sink: Pop out for a quick political drink after work with the boss and you're suddenly half an hour late for the far more sociable evening you have lined up with sister and friends. Head out to get a sandwich at lunchtime? YOu get back to the office an hour later, having spent £50 on stuff. Nothing useful or essential. Just stuff. Even getting out of London isn't easy. We turned up at Liverpool Street Station 20 minutes before our train was due to depart, only to find that it was delayed, ominously, by 40 minutes. And then, all the trains were delayed by 40 minutes, people started getting off trains they'd boarded 10 minutes earlier, and it was clear that chaos was inevitable. It turned out that the overhead power lines had come down at Ingatestone and they weren't sure when -- or even if -- they'd be fixed. And the same thing had happened on Wednesday and trains hadn't left till the early hours of the morning. Sigh. Experience of the British rail network has taught me that it's never a good idea to wait around for more information; just find an alternative route, get moving, and don't try to find out whether they managed to fix the problem 10 minutes after you left. We phoned the parents, explained the dilmma, and Papa Dumpling offered to pick us up at Stansted Airport, a "mere" 90 minutes from Norwich. We dashed over to Platform 3, miraculously got seats on the train, and arrived at Stansted 40 minutes later. A bottle of white wine, thoughtfully opened before we left the office, and a pack of cream cakes sustained us while we waited for our chaffeur to arrive, and then, again miraculously, we found his car among the melee and headed up the M11 to fish pie and a good night's sleep.

Our swift decision was the right one -- as expected. Trains were still not running today and compensation forms were being handed out like candy in a playground at the station this morning. Unfortunately, I can only get my ticket price back in the form of National Rail vouchers, which surely violates all sorts of trading standards legislation -- or at least good customer service practices. Why can't M&S run the railways? You'd always get your money back, no questions asked. And the tea would be great.